How are you lovelies holding up?

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How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Maya » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:10 am

Many of us have been expressing disbelief in the news thread, but I wanted to open up another topic in the general discussions in case anyone wanted to talk or share memories or cry.

I think I can safely say for many of us that we are still stunned. I stayed up a long time last night working on descriptions, but I kept thinking of so many of the memories I have through Possets--people I've "met," perfumes I truly love, the last bits of "I wish I had purchased," and "I wish I had known." The stages of grief are real, and I want everyone here to be able to come here if you need to and share whatever stage you are in, or just share memories.

Since this is a delicate thing, I am going to put on my moderator cap and ask that we keep in consideration that others are grieving too. There is no wrong way and there is no "right" way to grieve. What is one person's perception is not everyone's, so please be gentle with each other.

One thing that brought us all together is a love of so many of these perfumes and gratefulness for the person who made them through the years. That still matters.

Sending hugs and love to you all.
If you can't be a success, be a spectacular failure!

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by marisaviola » Wed Oct 05, 2016 8:01 pm

HI, Maya, I just saw this thread, I had not noticed it before. I hope it's okay, I am going to copy and paste from a post I put in earlier today as it seems to fit here. I think this is such a great idea of yours.

I feel really sad. Some time opened up for me today so I have been copying and saving some reviews (as posted in the section on compiling). LIke you, reading as I go through these has brought up so many memories for me. It's also made me realize more what I appreciate so much in Fabienne and her work, and in what she's created for us here in this space. As you said, other benefits happened also: I've made some friends, I've done writing of reviews, I've increased my perfumery knowledge, and I've felt supported. I found the photo of her with the hawk on her Possets FB today and wanted to post it, as it is one of my favorite photos of her--that and her being "Madame X" which she used last year at Yule. Then I saw some paintings today that reminded me of her: A unicorn and young woman on a tapestry--I felt like posting "Girl in White," both her description and the painting, which seem so very Fabienne, and "Lady and a Baby Unicorn."

In the other post, I offered to compile a voluntary contact list with email addresses just in case we get disconnected here. My contact information is Karen Phillips: kmphillips@nc.rr.com--if you would like to email me with your contact information I can start to get a list made up so that we can stay in touch.

I also have an Uber conference account and facilitate having phone/computer gatherings with another online group I'm part of, so maybe at some point it will be helpful to have a conference get-together . You can call in to the conference room or you can get in by computer. I would offer to open up my room for that if we want to get together and support one another and talk at some point.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by forspecial » Wed Oct 05, 2016 8:34 pm

I'm feeling glum, for sure. I'm getting together with Moonarcana this Saturday, to remember Fabienne and also have an old-fashioned meet 'n sniff like we used to with her. Well, I've had many with Moonarcana, and Fabienne came to two of them I think. But it was a lot of fun!

I'm wearing Kitty Cupidon tonight, it still smells lovely. : )

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Boudicca » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:49 pm

I still don't even know what to post. Fabienne was one Classy Broad. That's a huge compliment from me, ftr. Long story.

Sad, sad, sad.... Lost it at work yesterday when I heard the news. It's messing me up just typing about it.

I wore Sorrow today. Beautiful chypre....

Tomorrow, something from one of the Halloween collections. More appropriate maybe.

:hrt:: :hrt:: :hrt::
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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Minh Scent » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:56 pm

Ah, Maya, thanks for starting this thread. I am in a very bizarre headspace. I am sad and disoriented. My colleagues asked me if I was alright (I am usually upbeat...have to be...I teach 11 year olds!) and when I say, "I lost one of my favorite perfumers," they look at me oddly and are uncomfortable.
So it is great to be with people that understand....which is the other weird thing...I don't know any of you in the "real" world...nor did I know Fabienne in the real world....yet I feel she was a part of my life and I delighted in little facts of knowing she grew one of my favorite plants (osmanthus/sweet olive) in her kitchen window and also thought it smelled so amazing with freshly brewed coffee....and seeing her quirky personality come out in her stories and perfume descriptions...how hard she worked to make everything perfect...the polls...and feeling personally attended to in emails and in her packages. It was not too long ago looking at a retours list I have (that Marisaviola and I exchanged a slew of frantic emails over!) and was thinking, "I am ready for the next one. I don't care it's 20 bucks a pop. Life is short." Little did I realize then how short it would be for Fabienne.

One thing I was wondering...I see there is a memorial in mid October...Forspecial...do you live near Cinncinatiti??...do you think it would be appropriate if someone from the indie world speak about how she has been so important to us? The family may be comforted to know how far her influence and admiration spread. Just a thought.

Marisaviola, thank you for what you are offering. Please do put me on that contact list.

OK....late over in USA...morning here in Vietnam, with the pitter patter of pre-adolescent feet in the distance...I can smell them before I hear them..

:hrt::

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by samcalam » Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:17 pm

I was totally shocked to read of Fabienne's passing. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't bought for a little while as I have so many Possets. I send my love and condolences to her husband and family and all of you here. You will be truly missed Fabienne xxx

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Maladextrose » Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:49 am

My long-distance partner was visiting me and just flew back home on the fifth, so I was catching up on all of my forums now. I first saw the news on IMAM (the subreddit), and I was just floored to find out what happened. To be honest, I still don't quite know what to say or how to feel. It seems that most of us are having the same trouble of finding a way to express how important Fabienne and Possets was to us.

Part of me wants to hoard the rest of my Possets collection, so I never run out. But then I can't imagine not wearing what I have. Of course, another part of me deeply regrets not purchasing FBs of some favorites I sampled (and more backups from the last retour). I feel awkward and absurd when I try to explain that I'm so devastated by this, but Possets Perfume has given me such comfort and joy during some awful times in my life. The tagline is "bottled happiness", and for me, many times, it was. Here was something beautiful and tangible in my world, and I could feel a bit better about everything around me.

To most of my friends, it's "just perfume", but it really wasn't. It was so much more, such a vital part of my life. Even without being terribly active on the board, I was so impressed with Fabienne's presence and commitment to her craft and customer service. Interacting with people is difficult for me, so I only wrote a few reviews and quietly watched the posts from a safe, lurk-y distance. I wish that I'd posted more before.

I don't think that there's been news about the future of the forum or the business, but I hope that we will have a place where we can continue to keep up with people, sharing reviews and a love of perfume.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Aerie » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:49 am

I'm a long time lurker, and now first time poster. I'm completely devastated by this news. It's good to be in a place here on this forum where others understand how I feel.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by forspecial » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:49 am

Minh Scent wrote:Ah, Maya, thanks for starting this thread. I am in a very bizarre headspace. I am sad and disoriented. My colleagues asked me if I was alright (I am usually upbeat...have to be...I teach 11 year olds!) and when I say, "I lost one of my favorite perfumers," they look at me oddly and are uncomfortable.
So it is great to be with people that understand....which is the other weird thing...I don't know any of you in the "real" world...nor did I know Fabienne in the real world....yet I feel she was a part of my life and I delighted in little facts of knowing she grew one of my favorite plants (osmanthus/sweet olive) in her kitchen window and also thought it smelled so amazing with freshly brewed coffee....and seeing her quirky personality come out in her stories and perfume descriptions...how hard she worked to make everything perfect...the polls...and feeling personally attended to in emails and in her packages. It was not too long ago looking at a retours list I have (that Marisaviola and I exchanged a slew of frantic emails over!) and was thinking, "I am ready for the next one. I don't care it's 20 bucks a pop. Life is short." Little did I realize then how short it would be for Fabienne.

One thing I was wondering...I see there is a memorial in mid October...Forspecial...do you live near Cinncinatiti??...do you think it would be appropriate if someone from the indie world speak about how she has been so important to us? The family may be comforted to know how far her influence and admiration spread. Just a thought.

Marisaviola, thank you for what you are offering. Please do put me on that contact list.

OK....late over in USA...morning here in Vietnam, with the pitter patter of pre-adolescent feet in the distance...I can smell them before I hear them..

:hrt::
Yes - I live in Cincinnati and I was planning on most likely going to the memorial, unless my social anxiety gets the better of me.......but I wouldn't want to miss this. It will be my 4th funeral this year, between friends and family members.

I would most likely offer condolences to Gordon, Fabienne's husband. I've never met him and don't know what he looks like but I assume he won't be hard to find. I can definitely tell him how I knew her, and I can mention everyone here too. If it comes up and he's comfortable talking, I can possibly ask him if there are any plans for this forum. I want to know too! Like I said I'm meeting with Moonarcana this Saturday, I'll see if she wants to go too. If someone is with me it will be easier for me to talk.

I'll definitely report back, on the memorial and also any discussions or mentions of Possets Perfumes. Also to Karen - thanks for sharing your email address, I'll be in touch.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Atropos » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:52 am

I'm devastated. My heart which was slowly mending after my dad passed, is broken all over again. I can't help cry while I type this.

I feel so guilty because I was on the forum sporadically. like the guilt for my dad, I didn't get to tell them how much I loved them and how special they are to me before they died.

I just can't talk about it at the moment. The words are getting jumbled and caught in my throat as I just found out today (Karen was so kind to tell me). Later, I can maybe talk about following her since she started her business and how I watched, her, her perfumes, and this forum evolve, grow and shine. How much comfort and joy I've had from her, her wit, her writing, her scents. Right now, to be honest, all I can do is feel sorry for myself, and blow my nose a lot.

Karen you have my email address, feel free to add me to the list, I don't want to lose this community of friends I've had through this community.

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