How are you lovelies holding up?

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Atropos » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:55 am

forspecial wrote:
Minh Scent wrote:Ah, Maya, thanks for starting this thread. I am in a very bizarre headspace. I am sad and disoriented. My colleagues asked me if I was alright (I am usually upbeat...have to be...I teach 11 year olds!) and when I say, "I lost one of my favorite perfumers," they look at me oddly and are uncomfortable.
So it is great to be with people that understand....which is the other weird thing...I don't know any of you in the "real" world...nor did I know Fabienne in the real world....yet I feel she was a part of my life and I delighted in little facts of knowing she grew one of my favorite plants (osmanthus/sweet olive) in her kitchen window and also thought it smelled so amazing with freshly brewed coffee....and seeing her quirky personality come out in her stories and perfume descriptions...how hard she worked to make everything perfect...the polls...and feeling personally attended to in emails and in her packages. It was not too long ago looking at a retours list I have (that Marisaviola and I exchanged a slew of frantic emails over!) and was thinking, "I am ready for the next one. I don't care it's 20 bucks a pop. Life is short." Little did I realize then how short it would be for Fabienne.

One thing I was wondering...I see there is a memorial in mid October...Forspecial...do you live near Cinncinatiti??...do you think it would be appropriate if someone from the indie world speak about how she has been so important to us? The family may be comforted to know how far her influence and admiration spread. Just a thought.

Marisaviola, thank you for what you are offering. Please do put me on that contact list.

OK....late over in USA...morning here in Vietnam, with the pitter patter of pre-adolescent feet in the distance...I can smell them before I hear them..

:hrt::
Yes - I live in Cincinnati and I was planning on most likely going to the memorial, unless my social anxiety gets the better of me.......but I wouldn't want to miss this. It will be my 4th funeral this year, between friends and family members.

I would most likely offer condolences to Gordon, Fabienne's husband. I've never met him and don't know what he looks like but I assume he won't be hard to find. I can definitely tell him how I knew her, and I can mention everyone here too. If it comes up and he's comfortable talking, I can possibly ask him if there are any plans for this forum. I want to know too! Like I said I'm meeting with Moonarcana this Saturday, I'll see if she wants to go too. If someone is with me it will be easier for me to talk.

I'll definitely report back, on the memorial and also any discussions or mentions of Possets Perfumes. Also to Karen - thanks for sharing your email address, I'll be in touch.
Please do ForSpecial, keep us posted. And if you go please give my condolences to Gordon and her family. If I was in Cincinnati I'd go with you.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Atropos » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:55 am

Oh and thank you Maya for starting this thread! :hrt::

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by marisaviola » Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:14 am

Maladextrose , I feel you captured it so well when you said that wearing the perfume was so much more than just perfume itself (I am paraphrasing my understanding). For me, there was an atmosphere and energy to it and a whole feeling that went with it, and a background and context to fit it into that really made things feel wonderful. Of all the perfumers I know very few have created that, and of those few, only Fabienne really created a world and community. And not just that, she herself was part of the community.

Aerie, I am so glad you shared. I love your name :) I was online here for a year before I began posting a year ago (summer of 2015) and am a reader only on several other perfume forums but this one has felt very safe and welcoming to me.

ForSpecial, that sounds great, I'll wait to hear from you! If you feel you can go to the memorial that will be so lovely, and much appreciate your speaking on our behalf if it seems appropriate to you. I wish I could go too and that Cincinnati was not so far away for me to come.

Atropos, thank you for all you shared--I will definitely add you to the list, and I feel so badly that you're having these two losses so close together. The one good thing is that we're coming together as a community, thanks to Fabienne, and we can be a support to one another. Regarding thanking her and showing appreciation, I hope you won't mind my saying that one thing that has really stood out to me over the past two years that I've been on the forum is how great you were at expressing your appreciation--I remember reading posts you had written for various collections and they really said that so beautifully, both in regards to her perfumery skill and with regards to her personal qualities and how those both impacted your life so positively. I wish I had expressed it more directly to her, but hopefully my reviews helped her feel that way sometimes. This loss is turning into a good learning lesson for me, in terms of not taking anything for granted, and in how I wish to live my life in future.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Atropos » Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:03 am

Thanks for the kind words marisaviola. You made my day. I do hope she knew how special she, and her creations were and are to my life. As are you all. This forum has carried me through some bad patches.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by silkworm » Thu Oct 06, 2016 1:55 pm

I have lurked for years-never posted, and I regret that now. Possets was my introduction to perfume oil-I absolutely hated perfume until 2009 when I bought a bottle of Snow on Bare Skin that came with poppets of Titanium White and Queen of the Night. A cherished memory is opening that package and my young son running over to see what I had and letting him sniff the oils-and hooking him too!

I don't tend to nostalgia or sentiment, but today I was perusing the catalogue and the chat window at the bottom of the pages really hit me-"Offline-leave a message" so thank you Maya for starting this thread. As another friend who shared my love of Possets said, "well, she was family." She was, and she will be greatly missed.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Atropos » Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:00 pm

She was family wasn't she? She entered my life and my home. My life with her website, and her forum, with her beauty of soul and love. And my home with her exquisite scents. I learned so much about art, and perfumes, and myself.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Maya » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:14 pm

In a lot of ways, I feel like perfumers (and those of us on forums) know us more intimately in some ways than other people do. Perfume is a DEEPLY personal way of self-expression. Perfume isn't just something we wear, it's something that blends with our skin, merges with our chemicals, and really becomes part of us. Someone who creates that, and others who hear us talk about what we like, what works for us, what doesn't knows part of our chemistry, our make up, our molecules that others just don't. They may know they like how we smell when we pass by, but they may not know exactly WHY we chose a fragrance, or what meaning a fragrance has for us on a certain day.

Perfume is intimacy. It is beauty. It is how we see the world, and how the world interacts with us--on OUR terms. I love it when someone says they want to hug me just a little longer because I smell so good. I love it when I walk by someone and have them stop me and tell me they like my fragrance. But those are just the frosting on top of the whole of why I wear perfume. Perfume expresses me when I have no words. It allows me to be frivolous when I'm supposed to be serious, or serious when I am supposed to be frivolous. It allows me to engage my senses. It is something I do for ME.

Frankly, one reason I love Possets was because Fabienne was committed to allowing us to indulge without it being a hefty cost. It allowed us to pamper ourselves and splurge without feeling like we had to take out a loan on our houses to do so. When I see bottles of perfume that go for $400-$800, I struggle with that kind of purchase, especially when I know I can come to places like Possets and get things that wear so well on me for so much less.

I am still numb and trying to come to terms with this. But I am thankful for what Possets opened up for me. I have a small hope that someone in Fabienne's family was helping her with this and will take over and keep going with some of the recipes, but even without that I am grateful for what Possets and Fabienne opened up to me when I first started looking at niche/indie perfumes.
If you can't be a success, be a spectacular failure!

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by forspecial » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:53 pm

These are such great posts to read. I love being able to read these thoughts.

Another thing that is so interesting to me is that Fabienne was first and foremost an artist. I firmly believe perfume is an art form, and Fabienne was a painter before she made perfumes. As far as I know, she completely switched to making perfumes. Which is pretty astounding if you think about it. I work in a big hospital and some of her paintings are on the walls here. But for whatever reason she decided to express herself through scent - which of course makes total sense to us, we 'get it'. But not everyone understands this!

:madamex:

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by Minh Scent » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:59 pm

I am reading all if your posts and holding on and snuggling into them like hugs. Yes, I don't think our beloveds who are not into indies can understand our sadness and loss.

On the fb Julia Arcana is suggesting a day we all wear Possets to commemorate Fabienne. I was thinking the memorial day of the 15 is good? This I saw on the Indie Perfume Lovers page from Nikki...so not sure how many circles of people that includes.

Forspecial, I hope you do get to the memorial and I so understand the dread of social functions and specual hugs for going to so many funerals this year. This sounds more uplifting...as it is a celebration of life.

Love to all of you.

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Re: How are you lovelies holding up?

Post by marisaviola » Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:56 pm

These are such great posts to read! Thank you for sharing about her art in the hospital, ForSpecial--I never would have known about that even though I did know she was an artist. I loved her knowledge of art and the way she brought the paintings and art history alive and mingled them with the art of perfumery. One felt like one was wearing something with a presence, a portrait in scent. Maya, that is such an awesome description of what perfume is--I had never thought about it that way, or the intimate aspect of it and the molecules in our body aspect that you brought up, even though I knew it from a scientific biological level--I love how you describe it and it makes more sense to me now how it's impossible to describe to others why there was such a close feeling of relationship with Fabienne, who created this world of scent for us--and unlike most other perfumers, she really gathered our input and let us vote on it.
Minh, I think that is a lovely idea to wear Possets on the day of her memorial service. Someone earlier had said they were going to wear Possets all through October and since fall and Halloween seemed to be so special to her, I think I will be wearing Possets a lot this month. Definitely on the 15th and the 31st.

My main share tonight is that I feel such a mixture of joy and sadness as I copy and paste and save the reviews. Each collection brings its memories to me. I recently got done with the last of 2015, the Valentine collection, and I wish so much I had paid more attention when my newsletter arrived. I was taking a break and didn't check it out until several months later when it was too late. Now I so wish I had gotten bottles of Romping Skyclad, Love Amongst the Snow Dunes, and Pre-Raphaelite Seductress. Also, from the permanent collection, I came so close this past June to getting a full bottle of Nefertiti and Akhenaten but I have a full sample and I thought to myself "I can always buy it later from the permanent collection." This aspect of my sadness pales in comparison to losing Fabienne but as I go through the fragrances and reviews this regret does surfaces. As Funkmoppet said, it feels like the end of an era. I just keep hoping that since she did have several trained assistants who were bottling things and doing samples and packaging and that she probably has a fair amount of stock left and maybe even small bottles, that her family would have some knowledgeable help in continuing things, at least for awhile. Maybe she even trained them to follow her recipes? There's always hope, and it makes sense to me that they would not want all that lovely perfume to just go to waste.

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