Boudicca celebration of life and sharing

[marisaviola]

Hello, fellow possetiers,

Many perhaps have now heard that our much-loved Boudicca (Joani Van Demark) who was an administrator and active member here at Possets Perfume Forum passed away on November 8, 2019. I heard about it on December 11, thanks to Jennie posting it on the Possets Pretties
Facebook group. Thank you so much Jennie for letting us know. It was a great shock. There are many tributes to Boudicca on her Facebook page at
https://www.facebook.com/JoanioftheARC from long-time friends who had known her since childhood.
There will be a celebration of life given for her in Minneapolis on January 18th for those in that area, and the latest announcement of that said: "Please note that there has been a CHANGE IN LOCATION for Joani’s Memorial Service ~ It will now be held at the Palmer Lake / Brooklyn Park VFW in Minneapolis (the address is below). Also, lunch will be provided by the family.

Celebrating the Life of Joani Van Demark

May 23, 1969 - November 8, 2019

Her warm smile and contagious laughter will be missed

Memorial to be held January 18th, 2020 at 2pm

VFW – Post 3915 – Palmer Lake / Brooklyn Park

2817 Brookdale Drive

Minneapolis, MN

Lunch will be provided by the family

We hope to see you there

[marisaviola]

I thought for those interested it would be meaningful to also do a celebration of her on the 18th of January here on the forum, with stories and tributes shared, and a Possets Perfume worn in Joani's honor. I know many of us have had meaningful interactions with Boudicca and have received her generosity with notes, and packages of perfume samples, and various types of emotional and friendly support, so it would be wonderful to hear those from other forum members.

[Minh Scent]

Thank you, Marisaviola, for mobilizing us. I'm in!

[marisaviola]

Thank you, Marisaviola, for mobilizing us. I'm in!

Thank you so much, Minh Scent!

[Petticoats]

I won’t be able to be online again until later today, so I wanted to post this while I have the chance.

Joani was the closest friend I met through Possets. Even when one or both of us wandered away from perfume oils for a time, we would chat about what was going on in our lives. Our lives were so very different, but I always enjoyed hearing about what was up with her. She was so adventurous and funny and outspoken. I picked up the quirk from her of saying “thank Zod” (as in the Superman villain) instead of “thank God.”

Losing her husband was terribly hard for her, and at that time I wished more than ever that I lived closer to her so that I could visit her in person. (Compared with Georgia, where I live, her home might as well have been on the ice planet Hoth.) Mainly now I wish that I hadn’t let so much time lapse last year without trying to get in touch with her, so that I’d have had another conversation with her.

She and I swapped a lot of Possets back and forth. It was so frustrating to her that her workplace was a scent-free environment! I remember she particularly loved JFK & Jackie, and I think the Inez kitty one as well (because of the leather—I know she loved the leather Possets). We both adored Whirlwind of Lust from the Dante’s Inferno collection and were baffled when it didn’t get selected for the permanent collection. I’m going to try to find my bottle so I can wear it today in her memory.

[marisaviola]

Dear Petticoats,

Thank you so much for your beautiful post. It was so lovely to read about your friendship with Joani. I met Joani/Boudicca the summer of 2015, when I first officially joined the forum. I had read reviews on the forum prior to this, and had bought some Possets perfumes, but up to the Summer of Elegance collection, I had not introduced myself or participated. She was one of the administrators, and had recently started the 30 day Possets Challenge. She reached out to me by private message, offering to send me a package of samples for the challenge to help me get started, so I could try things. I will always be appreciative of her warm and generous gesture, which seemed such a signature quality of who she was.

After this we exchanged some private messages and emails, and eventually became friends on Facebook. I loved reading her forum posts, which were frequently witty or captured the absurdity of daily life, whether it was her work she was frustrated with, or home life. I had not known her at the time of losing her husband, but I could sense from a few posts and comments that this had a huge impact on her and their son's lives, and that it was lonely and challenging to raise their son alone. I could also tell how deeply she loved their son, and how proud she was of him.

Today I am wearing a Possets sample she gave me that I especially cherish, called La Fete Noire. This was a sample created by Fabienne of a Cambienne perfume, so we know it's a one of a kind scent. It's deeply resinous and a bit animalic, which seems like qualities that Joani mentioned loving, as I remember her mentioning Howl by Possets often in posts on the forum. I chose this Cambienne specifically because not only does it illustrate her generosity in giving me something so rare and special, but it also reminds me of how she told me once "I always get every Cambienne that comes out. Just because...I have to." (Paraphrased form memory, unfortunately it's no longer in my private message folder to refer to). So of course after that, and to this day, I have associated Cambiennes as a special love of hers.

[marisaviola]

I just looked it up, and found information on Fête Noire, which I am wearing today in honor of Boudicca. This is from Fabienne's description on the Cambiennes review section of the forum: ""So, to continue a yearly event, I present you with Fête Noir (Black Party). Again the pitch black of the deepest and most beautiful musk I possess, a thick stream of incense (frankincense, copal, and tears of myrrh). A goodly shot of black amber twisting suggestively with a thick honied golden amber and a special sub blend I am calling "jamil" which is a note I have come up with for inclusion into the most special of my perfumes. Top it all off with a weave of black pepper and pink pepper for zest. This is a lovely blend."

[Petticoats]

Marisaviola, what a lovely memorial to our Joani. And what a great reminder of how much she loved the dark, sexy Cambiennes and Howl. I think she and I both lobbied hard for Howl when voting time for the poetry collection came around!

I just received the email about a special Boudicca Cambienne. That is such a touching and beautiful gesture, and I know she would have been delighted.

[Minh Scent]

I spent some time going through threads here on Possets with banter from Boudicca. I first met her here in 2015 and was immediately attracted to her good natured banter and appreciated her knowledge of Possets, as well as her generosity in sharing that knowledge. We interacted on the BPAL forum as well, but she was much more active here. It floored me when I found out she had recently lost her husband, because she obviously was doing her best to be strong in the face of that pain. She was warm and kind woman on line and I hurt for her loved ones in Minnesota.

Today I am debating between Howl and Silver Leather, two (of the many) Possets she adored. Leather has never been a favorite note, but she talked me into trying Possets leather and I really enjoy it, to my surprise! However, I think it will be Howl, because the poem also reminds me of her. Joani, this "unabashed" perfume of "musks, patchouli and opium tar" echo your earthy, strong and adventurous spirit...I know you are making the angels giggle with your outrageous comments and remarks. Rest in peace, beautiful woman. I like to think of you and Fabienne watching down on us all.

[marisaviola]

I love your tribute to Boudicca, Minh Scent, and the descriptions you used at the end were so moving and evocative!

That is such exciting news, Petticoats, regarding the new Cambienne, and bless Jennie and Tom for creating this Cambienne and naming it for Boudicca--I read the description and it sounds beautiful, and just the sort of notes she loved.